I Am Home

A personal story of me

 

I just found this story, written many years ago, and decided to share.

 

I am a psychic, an intuitive, and I work with clients all the time to help them with their future, their love life, their career and just about anything else they can imagine they need to work on.  But, this is now.  Not back then, back when I was 25.  When I was 25 I was an accountant and single.

            I never had a father to teach me what it meant to be around men.  I never had parents as role models to show me what love was supposed to be.  I had a caring and compassionate mom, and a loving, yet busy sister, and a brother who operated under his own set of rules.  I didn’t know what true love was supposed to feel like.

            I didn’t know even on my first date with the man I would marry what real love, love that transcends time and space and follows you from lifetime to lifetime was supposed to feel like.  I didn’t know until that one day, the day that would change my life forever.

            It was as ordinary a day as any other.  The sun was shining, and a warm breeze spread over the beach as I watched the local men’s softball game from the stands.  I was there with my girlfriend Cheryl and we were just killing time, soaking up the sun on this beautiful day.  We could taste the dust from the field as it covered us slightly, the air off Long Island Sound picking it up and carrying it almost as if sharing a part of the game with us, the fans.

            We were talking about nothing of any value, nothing even remotely worth remembering.  That was us; comfortable without needing to make conversation.  Then, Tom pulled up to the curb on a brand new motorcycle.  Kawasaki green, purring as only sports bikes do, rider and steed shining under the light from the sunshine.  No big deal, just a friend.

            I met Tom in high school.  He was not anyone that would’ve hung out with my crowd; we were just different.  As a matter of fact we never even saw each other.  Or at least that’s what I thought.  Apparently, he came into my classroom regularly, to look at me, to be close to me.  I never noticed and he never approached me.

            We met again, years later, when I was 25 and newly single from a relationship that was something I now realize held my place, kept me in the perfect space and time for what was to come.  We met, again, through the help of Cheryl and Laura, when they dragged me to the bowling alley.

            “Just come, you’ll have fun!” they told me as they figuratively twisted my arm and literally threw me into their car.

            “Fine, but I’m only coming this one time,” I acquiesced, “and you are definitely buying a couple pitchers tonight!” 

            When we got to the lanes Tom was there, coincidentally bowling on the same team as my girlfriends, excited and eager to re-introduce himself.

            “Tom, this is….” Laura started.

            “I know who it is.  It’s Melanie!” Tom interrupted.  “We went to school together!”

            “Right, I remember.  Hi, Tom, how are you?” and the conversation began and continued of and on for about two months.  That’s when I agreed to go out to dinner with him, just as friends.

            Mario’s had amazing Italian food that night and we talked for hours, driving around until about two in the morning.  When I gave him a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening to thank him, as any good friend would after a friendly dinner, he lit up like a little boy at Christmas time.  I still had no idea what was to come.

            So here he was, weeks after our platonic night out, on a brand new motorcycle he had told me he wanted to buy when we were eating that dinner.  I had told him I loved bikes, I loved to ride them myself.

            He waited at the curb on his bike, watching me walk over.

            “Are you gonna take me for a ride?” I asked.

            “Sure!  I told a couple other people I would give them rides first and then I’ll be back, ok?” he answered with a smile.

            “All right, don’t keep the girls waiting!” I joked of the others I knew he had promised.  Still I felt nothing.  No vibes, no energy; just a guy that I was friends with on a cool new bike. 

            I walked back and continued watching the game with Cheryl until it ended.  No Tom, no bike. 

            “Let’s wait a little while longer,” I told her and we sat for another 15 minutes, but still nothing.  There was no flash of fluorescent green, no sound of a wound up engine.

            We started walking over to Cheryl’s red Mustang.  “Can I drive?” I asked her.

            “Sure, I just want to stop and grab something to eat,” she answered. 

            Just as we were about to step off the grass onto the parking lot Tom pulled up.  With a smirky like smile he said, “Have you been waiting long?”

            “The game ended about 15 minutes ago; I got tired of waiting!” I answered.  “It’s about time you showed up!”  I replied with a laugh.

            “Oh, well here, hop on,” he said with a grin and you could just tell he was happy to have made me wait.  Not because he was mean, but because he wanted me jealous.  He wanted me to love him.  I didn’t.  I didn’t feel anything like that.  I didn’t have any warning bells or psychic signals or puppy dog eyes.  He did; he was puppy dogged out.

            “Right.  Um, Cheryl, do you mind?  We’ll just go around the parking lot,” I tell her as I start getting on the back.  Totally innocent.  Just friends.

            “No problem, but if you’re not back in 10 minutes I’m leaving to go get food! I’m hungry!”  she laughed.

            “All right, I’ll be right back.”

            I had no idea I would be longer than five minutes.  I had no idea this one ride would change my life.  I had no idea it would last forever.  I had no warning, no bells, no psychic vibes.  I had nothing, but Tom knew.  He knew way back in high school.

            I put my arms around him and my world changed.  I experienced a feeling I had never felt before, in all my 25 years.  I felt like I’d just come home.  In that moment, no, that very second that I wrapped my arms around him I knew life was never going to be the same again.  I felt as though everything I’d lived for, everything I’d done my entire life and many lives before had led me to that very minute in time. 

            I was in love and I was home.  He moved in that afternoon, weight bench and a basketful of clothes followed less than two weeks later, and he never moved out.  That was 16 years and two beautiful and incredible daughters ago. 

            Through all of our financial woes, the deaths of our parents and the changing from one extreme to the other in our careers, we love each other.  I am home, and I will be home no matter where we are, as long as I can put my arms around him.

He came inside just now, from his cabinetmaking shop in the backyard.  Over the past weekend he had asked me when I psychically saw him getting the next job.  He told me that he had just gotten off the phone with someone who’s name started with the letter “J” as I had said it would and that he got a new job today, Tuesday, just like I foretold.

“That’s like predicting the lotto, Hon! That’s crazy; sick!  You are amazing!” he tells me of my psychic abilities.  “You should be on TV!  You give me goose bumps!”

            “No, Hon,” I think to myself, “you’re sick.  You knew we were supposed to be together in high school.  You felt it then.”

            To Tom I say instead, “We rock, baby!  I love you!”  I wrap my arms around him and it feels like home.

 

Spring Energy Cleaning-Empathic??

Do the winter doldrums have you down?  There could be a simple answer for that.  It's not just about the snowfall that seems never ending this year; it's about the energy.  Doctors call it Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD and often link it to the lack of light, and Vitamin D we receive from the sun in the summer, according to Martin Downs, MPH, in his article Winter Darkness, Season Depression.   We need the light's energy to release us from feeling lost or unhappy.  There's a reason we clean out our closets when the weather starts to break.  Making room for pretty new clothes isn't all there is to it.  You're making room for new energy!

When we feel the desire to clear out the old and bring in the new it's because we are done with whatever is happening and we need to usher in change.  Bright spring colors help pull us out of our winter funk and lighten us up.  We wear clothes and shoes and jewelry that make us feel more vibrant, more alive.  We choose to revamp our homes, our clothing, and our spirits! 

When we ignore the need to clear out old energy we often suffer--we may experience feelings of depression or even sadness.  Empaths, people who are more sensitive to energy around them and can feel the energy of others, tend to have a harder time when their energy is depleted or drained.  It can even cause feelings of social anxiety.  According to Amateo Ra's article, New Study Links Social Anxiety to Being An Empath, "As an Empath, it can be a lot for someone to handle, as the source of their discomfort is not just the weight of their own life’s challenges and experiences, but also the energy of others all around them, both the good and the bad, all of which can be a lot to integrate and digest."

If you are empathic, you might experience feelings that you are unable to source.  In other words, you have no idea where these feelings are coming from.  Until you discover your empathic gifts or clairsentient or clairempathic abilities it may be difficult to figure it out.  All of my books provide exercises crucial to working with these natural psychic gifts and can help you protect yourself from unwanted doses of energy. Even Theresa Caputo, the Long Island Medium, shares how she suffered from debilitating anxiety until she learned how to work with her spiritual energy.

So, what does all this mean for you?  Clean out your closets!  Refreshing the energy in your home as well as the energy of your spirit with clearing intention can bring in an abundance of health, love, and laughter!  Lighten up by letting go of anything you've been physically or spiritually holding on to!  Get rid of anything that no longer suits you or any psychic debris that you no longer need!  Remember, being empathic means feeling energy of others as well so be sure to free yourself from anyone who habitually brings you down or causes you more stress than joy!

Create a vision board of what you want and FEEL it!  Learning to work with your incredible abilities will make you happier than you can imagine.  Embrace your empathic gifts and experience all that life has to offer this Spring! 

Grounded in Intuition?

     The other day I was asked if an aquaintance of mine had purchased my book or if he believed in the work I do.  I was about to answer but I caught myself.  What I was going to say was, "He is very scientific.  He is grounded in academia and too logical to believe in intuition."  And, then it happened....I realized the error I was about to make!

     Intuition IS logical!!  Going against intuition is illogical!  Intuitive development or utilizing your intuition isn't irrational, unreasonable or even unscientific.  In fact, not tuning in is what is dysfunctional.

     We are all born with natural senses; included in those senses is ESP, or extra sensory perception.  When we deny that sense it's as though we've stopped smelling, or tasting, or seeing, or hearing.  It's part of our geneological makeup.  Our psychic or sixth sense is what helps keep us safe, what guides us in choosing direction and what grounds us in reality.  Yes, I said what grounds us!

     There are many ways to stay grounded.  Some ways to physically ground include taking off your shoes and walking in the grass, or digging your hands in the dirt.  We can also ground mentally by training or focusing on our breathing or meditation.  Another way to ground your energy is to focus on an object or even a piece of the wall; by doing this you are focusing your attention and becoming present.

     Being grounded in intuition simply means you are open to the possibility that there is help for you from many sources.  It implies that you have an advantage of receiving a gentle form of guidance in whatever decisions you may have to make. And, yes, it means that you can be better at the more "logical" activities in life such as technology, accounting and even grocery shopping. 

     Living intuitively is logical.  Don't let anyone tell you different!

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Acknowledging the Missing Acknowledgements!

Regarding "The Book of Psychic Symbols:  Interpreting Intuitive Messages"

Writing a book is a process.  And, getting it out is an even bigger process!  In my haste to wrap everything up I realize I somehow deleted my original acknowledgements paragraph.  I was so bummed when I discovered it yesterday that I couldn't fall asleep.  At one o'clock in the morning last night, my husband finally told me to stop worrying about it!  Of course, that fell on deaf ears and I stayed awake until I could figure out a solution.

My hope is I sell enough books that my publisher Llewellyn will do a second print run in which changes can be done.  But, even before that I need to thank some very special people!  Here is the original paragraph!

"My mother always said, "Everyone has at least one good book in them."  This I took to heart.  Why not?  I know she was there, smiling down, as I wrote this book, and is still there, sending love to my family and helping me with every reading I do.  For that, and everything else you did for me, Thank You, Mom!  I love and miss you!  A sincere thank you as well, to Tammy Nelson, an incredible author, therapist and speaker, and most importantly, my sister.  Without her love and support the difficult days may have been too hard to push through.  And, to all of my friends, who are indeed part of my family-thank you for believing in me even when I have a hard time believing in myself!  You've generated excitement to keep me going in my endeavors, and validated my gifts when I doubted them!  And finally, thank you to Angela and all of the staff at Llewellyn who've worked tirelessly to get this book into the hands of what I hope will be millions!  Enjoy!"

Well, there you have it, there it is!  I hope this will make it somehow into the next printing!

Healthy skepticism is a good thing!

My book is out!  "The Book of Psychic Symbols:  Interpreting Intuitive Messages".  This makes me very happy!

It also brings up many questions, on many levels. 

I was interviewed by a wonderful woman who believes wholeheartedly in the work I do.  I find it interesting that she had to delete a few comments from someone who was very negative because he was, dare I say, angry about the work I do.  I am a practicing psychic, a professional who offers readings and does gallery events and teaches workshops.  I am also a mother who wants the very best for her family.

I am no different than many other women out there.  I may look different, I may have a different schedule, and I may live in a different town.  But, I am an average person, living what I believe to be a normal life.

I go to all the games and events I can for my kids, enjoy the company and comeraderie of good friends and I love my husband. 

Why, then, do some still consider my profession to be the work of something evil, or better still, the fakest profession in existence?

What I have found throughout my entire career is that I like skepticism; in healthy doses.  I don't mind if you don't believe in what I do.  I don't mind if you openly try and find errors in my readings.  What I do hope, is that you will approach me, as you would anyone with respect.  The same respect I would give to someone who went to temple, though I don't, or who prays on a mat every hour, though I don't, or who believes there is some universal energy or God or force that helps to control our destiny and gently guides us to living an abundant life, which I do.

I do believe there are some people who are phony, who are trying to scam people by offering them fake readings.  I don't do that.  What I try and offer people is hope.  Hope that there is more to this life, hope that there is something beyond this life, hope they may find their loved ones on the other side of the thin veil between this life and the next, hope that they are headed in a positive direction, and hope that, yes, there is someone out there to share your many years to come.

I have been very fortunate.  Though I am talking about the naysayers or the non-believers, I have been lucky to not have been burned at the stake or stoned to death.  I, actually, have a great many who love the work I do, and are opening even more to the possibilities that we can all connect to our intuition, and we can all contribute to the manifesting of positivity in our lives!

I love the work I do, and I am pleasantly surprised by the amount of love and support I have received since my book has been published!  This, more than anything helps me appreciate even more the messages I have been led to share, and the people I'm priveledged to share them with!

Thank you, everyone, especially those who were once skeptics until they had no choice but to believe, for all of the kudos I have received and continue to receive!  I know you far outweigh the unhealthy skeptics and I thank you!

I hope you find comfort from the words in my book.....I share with you the truth as I know it, which continues to help me, and I hope it will help you, too!

End of the world?

Like REM sang, "It's the end of the world, as we know it".....

Someone recently asked me this question.  "What do you think will happen in December 2012.  Do you think the world will end?"

I don't believe the end of the world will happen this year....besides, I'm not ready for it, yet! Ha!

I think it's more the way we interpret things. We humans, often, have a way of clutching to negativity and have a hard time letting go. 

However, I do believe it is a time for some serious change. I think, again, as humans we have depleted much of what our way of life depends upon. We are a broke nation, an impoverished world...financially, spiritually and mentally in many ways. I think it's a wake up call to look at what we have and appreciate it.

I also believe the earth is fighting back; she's hitting us with erratic weather that is altering our world. In my opinion, it's forcing us to review our belief's and what we hold dear.

I think this in turn will also help us challenge what has been commonly accepted as religious and spiritual truths. I think we will turn from a more religious based society to a more spiritually directed society.

I think people are going to become more in tune with their intuition and more and more are going to be able to see through the thin veil that separates most from the other side; the deceased friends and family, spirit guides, and even universal forces or God.

I believe eyes are opening to the possibilities that there is something better to connect with than just money and greed and this will change the way people behave.

All in all, I do think change will happen. But, I think it's partly because of the belief that the world may end. I don't think it will. I think we will continue living. It is our choice to make the world a better place, and the earth is going to pummel us until we understand that.

Patience at a snail's pace?

Snail:

may suggest moving slowly through life; can indicate being

slow and methodical; may represent what you’re waiting for may

not come for a long while; can suggest a need to speed up or hurry

up; as in “at a snail’s pace,” taking your time

This symbol keeps coming up for me today.  And, it's one trait I have no patience for!

Patience has always been a difficult thing for me, as it is for many of my friends and clients.  It's hard to be patient when that means you have to wait for something that you desperately want to happen.  Immediate and total gratification are what we all desire.  It isn't that we don't want to have to work to get what we want.  It is more that we are so excited to achieve or acquire our desires that we just don't want to wait to get them.

I have been told, over the past decade or so, that I needed to be patient.  My book would come out, and would be successful.  My business would grow and expand, but none of this would happen until it was time.  This is a hard concept to buy into.  Why do I have to be patient?  Why do I have to wait?

The universe has it's own time frame. It expects us to follow it, but knows that we will challenge it at every turn.  When we challenge it, sometimes we will succeed, but usually there will be another road block thrown up or a detour to get us back on track. 

There is a cliche, everything happens for a reason, that I believe applies here.  If we stray from the designated path we are following I think destiny pushes back a bit.  This is not to say we shouldn't challenge ourselves to overcome obstacles.  I fully believe we should.  However, if something just doesn't feel right, or feels off in our gut, our intuitive area, that may be a sign that we are no longer following the road we are meant to be on.  If we continue down that road, what else may go wrong?

I have to believe that patience, though it slips through my grasp on a regular basis, is a necessary quality and part of a delicate balance. It allows for the buildup of excitement and adds to the crescendo of feelings that give us the opportunity to truly experience life and not just travel through zombie-like, emotionless.

So, although I continue to be impatient, and strive to accomplish things quickly and at times even instantly, I know that sometimes slow and steady wins the race.  Sometimes even, without patience, what is accomplished is almost anticlimactic.  Achieving something we've worked hard for is more rewarding than almost anything. 

Being patient....I am patiently waiting for it.

New Years Manifestations

As the old year rolls out, leaving a path for 2012 to shuffle it's way in I find myself holding on tight, worried about what the future has to offer.  In the times of economic crises, earthwide devastations and personal revelations I realize I have carried much of these worries around on my back. 

I do believe in manifestation. I believe we have the power to change our worlds, and more specifically our own little piece of the world.  I wholeheartedly think through manifestation we can add some modicum of control to what is our destiny.  Fate is gently nudging us along to allow us to take the path that is sometime less traveled, and oftentimes uncomfortable.  This I know is true.

What I have been having a very difficult time with lately is I allow worry to hold me back from creating and manifesting what is best and possible in my own life.  Living a life of service and spirituality is challenging when fear is present; and when you have to pay the mortgage.  Letting go is often more laborious than holding on!  Especially because change can be scary.

I have been dealing with my own issues of feeling worthy of the blessings that are essentially waiting to be taken hold of.  Re-learning new life lessons which are different from the ones we are raised with is proving to be harder than I ever dreamed possible. 

This is something I intend to change in 2012.  Knowing what I know to be true in my soul, I believe it's time to take control.  To allow change, in all it's glory, to rear it's head; be it ugly or beautiful.  And in the wake change leaves behind to ride with fluidity into my future.  I promise myself, right now, and in the year to come, that I will be honest with my fears and allow them to be dispelled by purity of thought and intention.  I will love myself, the way I hope others will love me, and I will dedicate my spirit to enjoying and appreciating everything life has to offer.

I wish this, too, for everyone else in 2012 and always.  That you may allow fear to dissipate and find joy and happiness in it's place.  We DO have the power to manifest positive change in our lives.  Fear keeps us from changing.  I will stop fear in it's tracks, and send out the positive energy for everyone to do this as well.

At midnight, I will ring in a Happy New Year!  And I will send healing energy in every direction so together we may all begin 2012 with prosperity, abundance, love and positivity!

Happy New Year, and may we all have a fantastic 2012~!

A little mind-vacation

If you are anything like me, money has been a little tight in the downturned economy.  So, vacation, once again, has been moved to the back burner to the chagrin of the entire family. 

When I think of vacation I imagine the warmth of a beautiful sun, a sparkling ocean, the sound of gentle waves lapping up the white sand, the fresh smell of salt and coconuts, striped wooden and sailcloth chaise lounge chairs, a cooling breeze, and amusement park rides.  Yes, I said it; amusement park rides.  How quickly I just changed your vision of where I was. 

Images are sometimes symbolic of feelings.  When reading about the exquisite beach you probably began to feel relaxed.  Then, bam!  I hit you with all the craziness of roller coasters, screaming kids, sunburn, and chaos.  For me, that's fun.  Having the best of both worlds.

Today, go on a vacation in your mind.  Imagine the perfect location.  What would it look like?  What does it smell like?  What does it sound like?  What does it taste like?  And finally, how does it feel?  What does it feel like to be in this amazing place?  Does it feel relaxing?  Exciting?  Fulfilling?  After you check in with yourself and note how you feel it's up to you to decide whether to stay there.  One of the luxuries of vacationing in your mind is you can travel anywhere....even outer space!

If your vacation felt great, go there everyday!  Add a little happiness to your life by taking the perfect trip; even if it is only in your mind!

So many symbols, so little time!

I'm often asked the question, "Is it ok to have more than one symbol for something?"

The simple answer is-absolutely!  However, having more than one symbol can sometimes complicate things.  A friend of mine (thanks Melissa!) just asked if her "Halloween" symbol could be children in costumes, candy, and pumpkins.  While this is perfectly fine, it takes up more "psychic space" than necessary. 

Generally, our brains are able to focus on or think of one thing at a time.  It may be that our thoughts come so quickly that we have a hard time interpreting them as a single symbol.  When this happens, it's time to slow down.  Understanding that every message, image, thought or feeling we receive is important helps us to recognize each symbolic communication.  It is one of the steps to increasing our psychic awareness.

The ability to weed out and extrapolate the significant messages we receive allows us to go deeper into our intuition and connect with more clarity.  This opens up the possibility to receive the next symbol quickly, without conscious thought process.  This, in turn, may help clarify or reinforce the initial message that was given. 

Every day, whether I'm doing a reading or not, I receive symbols.  When I'm able to keep my mind clear and uncluttered they come in stronger.  It's the same with the Halloween symbols.  Can we have more than one?  Absolutely.  Do we need more than one?  No.  How do we decide on one symbol over the other? Easy; which ever came first, before we thought about it. :)

Losing your mind? Or just losing your blog?

What's interesting is that I never realized blogging would be so difficult.  Why, on one computer can I pull up my favorites and have my blog show up, yet on another computer it says it does not recognize it?  But, I am welcome to create a new blog under that address which is available!

Hmmm.  This does not sound quite right to me, but, ok.  I am ready to create a new blog.  And I do.  And then, when I'm all done creating, I'm brought to the section that shows me my blogs, and lo and behold, there's my original blog!  I just don't get it!

I don't think this happened without reason.  Instead, there was something to be learned from this timely metaphoric message!  I believe this happens often within our lives.  Sometimes we feel disconnected with what we believe should be happening in our daily routines.  It feels as though something is missing so you try and recreate it.  However, it doesn't always work out; all of the details don't quite line up.  And then we realize what we are trying to rebuild has been there all along!

Take, for example, memories.  Often, it's difficult to let go of our past and live in the present because we are afraid we won't be able to create a life or a moment as great as one we've already lived.  The one thing we have to do IS let go of the past to manifest a present that makes us happy.

You are not losing your mind.  You're just evolving.  As with my blog, I had to recreate in order to get back in touch with what was missing.  As you plod along through your day, tune into what's happening all around you.  What works for you now?  What makes you happy today?  Does recreating or reliving the past hold you hostage?  Or does it allow you to move forward, remembering great times, but manifesting a wonderful new reality that tops even the most memorable of moments already lived.

Evolution is a slow process.  At times it feels like you want to go back to what may feel like easier times.  But, you can't manifest for your future unless you are living in the present.  Enjoy now and allow yourself to appreciate what you only thought was missing!

Rejection!!!

Rejection: Like the Death Card in Tarot, when viewed in the negative it can be a devastating and energy crippling state. But, when viewed in the positive it shows you that you are now available for bigger and better opportunities! Stay open, something not right has to be "rejected" in order for something new to come!

Ok, so for many this is much easier to say than to accept.  When we experience rejection we often have a hard time processing it.  It can become a mantra for us, causing depression or at the very least a self induced case of mild self loathing!  Congratulations!  You were rejected!  Now move on.

I know everyone out there has had at least one rejection in their lives.  The thing is, we've also made it through.  Flash back to the last feeling of rejection and try and remember what it was.  Now, move forward....you are still alive, still breathing.  That is the best therapy out there!  You made it!  You're still here!

Ahhh, now that that's settled, maybe I'll try a little "therapy" myself!

Rejection:  the best form of therapy!

Welcome

Welcome to Melanie Barnum's Psychic Symbols, Intuition and Hypnosis blog!  I will be posting weekly updates to the blog, and answering whatever questions you post! 

Stay tuned for the brand new, most awesome, incredibly informative....ok, so just stay tuned!